submitted by Sean Walsh
All seemed well as Alan Jones and Sean arrived at
Ron's house salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs
in anticipation of Marion's wonderful bacon
butties. Proceedings continued swimmingly when
Niel arrived with Alan E and Colin in tow.
Fuelled up and ready to set off for a day to blow
the week's cobwebs away the party were rudely
brought back down to terre firma by the BBBD
factor, later revealed to us by Neil as being the
Bacon Buttie Break Down curse which seems to
afflict his cars!
So, the extremely nice looking Saab was left in
the Fairbairn drive as Ron bravely took up the
mantle of driver for the marooned Saab
passengers, thus forfeiting the possibility of
really taking advantage of the facilities at the
Coverbridge Inn later in the day. No meager
sacrifice I'm sure you'll agree.
Ron led the way and I feel needs congratulating
on the fact that he didn't get lost in any shape
or form until he had actually pulled away from
his drive!
On arrival at Coverham we met Cliff, and the
party were fully assembled. The weather was
excellent, a bracing breeze, but dry and set fair
for the day's proceedings. We set off for
Caldbergh with high hopes.
Before striking out across the moor the sun rose
to beat down on the labouring group. Alan J had
seen fit to leave his sun cream in the car, as
Mid February rarely offers up the possibility of
severe sun stroke. However, realising the error
of his ways he managed to beg a hat of sorts from
Cliff. Now, I'm not sure where Cliff seeks out
his millinery but the head gear he provided for
Alan was something to behold. The resident of
Long Marston looked resplendent in his hat, that
made him resemble something akin to a cross
between Captain Ahab and a Japanese concentration
camp captain. Fully kitted out we set off across
Caldbergh Moor following Ron and a rather sketchy
path. Heather bashing became the order of the
day. As Alan J so rightly observed, Ron had taken
the Right to Roam quite literally, and we had a
right old roam! What with Alan E taking care to
avoid snakes and the innumerable stops for lace
tying the moor crossing took on epic proportions.
We headed East across Calsterdale to
Gollinglithfoot, then North through Highagra!?!
to Ellingstring. Slight deviations were taken as
the hit and miss nature of the footpaths meant we
were now dangerously over due at the pub stop!
Onwards to Hammer Farm we were then able to
really burn the tarmac for a couple of miles to
reach our objective at Coverbridge. I do feel the
need to mention at this point a particularly
nauseous episode witnessed by some members of the
party. Following a rather testing climb time was
taken to look at the wonderful views and get the
heart rate below 200 per minute. On turning to
appreciate the clear, unbroken views in all their
360 degree glory gazes were confronted by the
image of Alan J, trousers round ankles, applying
copious amounts of Raljex to his nether
regions!!! One must remember the hat was still
placed proudly atop his head, now put into place
the image of new, and rather natty purple Y-
fronts and you begin to get the nightmarish
vision that will haunt my dreams for years to
come!
Luckily the odd couple of pints at Coverbrige
soothed shattered nerves as a hearty couple of
hours were spent around the fire being wowed by
Alan's latest gadget. Surprisingly Cliff seemed
to know the landlord and a couple of crusty
locals saw fit to join our mery making. As usual
pulling ourselves from the Inn proved
problematic, espacially for Colin who seemed
determined to celebrate his birthday by filling
the role of official walk snoozer left vacant by
Brad.
The last stretch which took us west along Cover
banks to the finish was notable for seeing Cliff
avoid a certain cattle drinking device, taking an
enormous arc around the field boundary to ensure
he kept at least 100m from it at all times. Sean
asked what the contraption was for but Cliff was
unable to explain as he became a gibbering wreck
at the very thought of it. It was only later that
Sean found out it was designed to lift Dalesmen
off their feet about 2 metres into the air when
linked to an electric fence....ingenious!
On reaching the cars it was agreed that minor
detours apart the day had been excellent all
round.
Once again, thanks to Ron and Marion for the
fabulous breakfast and Neil for providing us with
a talking point on the merits of not buying Saab
cars on the way to Coverham!
Sean Walsh